Parenting is hard

Only when you have wrong expectations.

It is so easy to know what is right action but sometimes so hard to do it.

Ayden is having rough morning. Well he was having good morning until we took him to his soccer match. He got shy and didn’t want to play. I spend 45 minutes encouraging him. Getting frustrated. Getting embarrassed. Getting angry.

I wanted to leave.

I don’t know what is right behavior. What should have I done. Is it too much to expect your child to do what they wanted to do. If you don’t push your child will they never get out of their comfort zone and never grow. If you push too much will that cause them unnecessary anxiety when they will naturally grow up at their own pace.

Is it okay to punish your child who experienced anxiety through no fault of their own.

I have read so many books on parenting, they all have answers to these questions. Yet, I cannot remember anything.

The Highly Sensitive Parent by Elaine Aron

Could you be highly sensitive person? A highly sensitive person is someone who can get overwhelmed by various senses such as noise, smells, clutter that would not bother most people.

I got two kids and sometimes they both are crying and screaming at the same time. Their screams causes my neck, shoulders and arms to get stiff and I feel tingling or pins all over my arms. This sounds like heart attack and I am going to doctor to have it checked but quick search showed that this might be due to High Sensitivity towards noises or screams. And that’s when I learned about Highly Sensitive People aka HSP.

I found this book at (my current employer). I am still reading but I highly recommend it if you feel overwhelmed by children or especially when they are misbehaving.

So far I have learned that there are many signs of HSPs, 1 out of 5 people are HSP. If you feel overwhelmed, anxious, or uneasy around certain stimuli than those might what you are sensitive to. For example, in addition to noise, I absolutely hate smells, both good and bad and try to keep our home at neutral smell. Food and cooking smells are good only for a few minutes before I have to step out or open windows.

Also what is strange that I cannot deal with loud screams, I am absolutely comfortable with loud music.

While I am halfway through the book, but just knowing that HSP is a thing and there are some strategies you can use to deal with it, is awesome.